No One's Blessing
by OnlyTheResults
Summary: A crows life, from birth to Atlas. His pain. His love. His life. (One-Sided Qrow x Summer)


You remember why you were always no one's blessing. You remember it clearly. You remember because you were the weak link when your born.

Because you were the weak, little brother.

You remember exactly why people in the tribe never liked you. You realized it when you finally discovered your semblance. You should have known, given your name. You always brought bad luck. So you blamed others and began to blame your bad luck charm.

You remember learning how to fight. Raven was always better than you, in every way conceivable. You remember the looks, the embarrassment on your face and the disapproval from your sister. You hated that look. You swore to become stronger than everyone else.

So you and your sister were sent to Beacon. You had never seen such a world outside the tribe and fell in love with it at once. You loved the sights, the sounds, the city of Vale. Your sisters disapproving visage shamed you constantly.

You fought well in Initiation. You didn't know it then, but you and the Headmaster would be working closely in the future. At the time you thought he was incredible, wise and powerful.

You wanted to be like him.

You remember locking eyes with your partner. She had deep, silver eyes that screamed wonder and excitement. Her hair was red and black and beautiful with a white cloak that shone in the sun. She rescued you from your landing strategy and gave off such a wonderful energy that made you truly smile for the first time in years. You didn't know it then but your heart skipped a beat and your breath was caught in the wind.

Your team was formed that day, called STRQ. You thought you had a future with them. With her. With the blond brawler who was your sisters partner. Maybe she'd even warm up to you finally. Now that you proved yourself. You didn't ever doubt when that silver eyed girl became leader. She deserved it the most, no matter what your sister said.

And you remember that when she smiled at you, your chest felt weak and your temperature rose, sweat trickling down your face. You didn't know what it was but you liked it. Your stomach felt light and you wanted more of whatever it was.

Your classes were the worst. You were never good at studying compared to your sister and her partner. You struggled with learning concepts, even though your partner took up the challenge of helping you study.

It didn't help that your peers hated you too.

Broken pencils. Missed homework. Alarm clocks not going off. Little things added up. You weren't loved for your semblance, not one bit. You knew your only friends were your teammates, the blond one, Taiyang, was your best bud. Even Raven had warmed up to you. She was very close with Taiyang.

And your partner?

She was the best. You didn't know how someone could be so positive. So full of energy. How somebody could drive you to be so much better and who... accepted you, even with your semblance? Even when she was affected it by it too.

You don't know how many times she told you it was ok to cry, because even boys had to cry. What would Raven say?

She'd probably call you weak.

You didn't know if she would be right or wrong, but the world didn't seem so bad when your partner was there.

* * *

You remember falling in love.

You knew it from the first time you saw her. Those silver eyes and jet black hair. That infectious smile and the fact you were always happier when she was there with you, and you felt something empty when she wasn't. She was your best friend, and you were her's. You can't count all the times she confided to you in privacy.

You thought her infectious nature and shining, positive light was the greatest thing in the world. Even when she and Tai pranked you with that kilt.

You didn't see other girls around you. Taiyang always told you that you could have had anyone, but all you wanted was to be worthy of _her. _

You didn't know when you'd ask her, but you knew she was the one.

* * *

Your class work got better with time. So did your team. You learned how to use your semblance and aura to your advantage, and she was right there to support you as you did.

Your team was a bit... loose, so to say. You broke rules but conveniently for you, the Headmaster was lax on you. It didn't do any help to your standing with your peers, but you learned to stop caring about what they thought.

The start of your second semester Beacon might have been your best yet. You'd racked up wins in combat class, improved your grades and even better, you and your team were qualified for the coming Vytal Festival.

Then there was the dance.

You had wanted to ask her to go. The week before the dance, you had seen Taiyang ask your sister to go. You were happy for him, and even hoped she would be happy too.

You couldn't help but notice the glassy look in your partner's eyes.

You learned why during the dance when she was crying in your arms, mascara trailing down her checks as she tells you how she feels about Taiyang, how badly she wanted to ask him to the dance and tell him.

You didn't take advantage of her. So you kept your feelings to yourself and helped her. You were her friend and you owed her that much.

But that part of you that screamed out _I'm here! _made you feel ashamed. You blamed yourself, your semblance. You never knew if it was the reason she didn't get her date that night. You hated yourself for wishing she saw you instead of him. You had no right to her affections and you felt so disgusted with yourself that you even thought that way.

You kept silent and let her cry. At least she wouldn't be able to hear you cry later in the night thanks to the music.

* * *

You don't quite remember when you started drinking. It was during the dance, that's certain.

But you don't quite know why. You wonder if it was because of the way she looked at your sisters partner the same way you looked at her. Was it when you were told how much she felt for your sisters partner? Maybe.

You don't know because it scares you.

All you knew was that you saw her look at him that night, and talk about him in the way you dreamt of her talking about you, and it hurt so _godsdamn much_ that you wanted it to go away.

So you made it go away.

Raven ended up winning the Tournament and Taiyang gave her a deep victory kiss and hug.

You could see how badly that hurt your partner. You could see it in her eyes and her fake smile.

You felt bitter because you saw her heart break, but the part of you that made you hate yourself was bitter because you wished your partner would just look at you and realize what you felt.

You buried that selfishness down with a sip from your liquor bottle that night.

At least you had an excuse with the party.

* * *

You picked up a taste for liquor after that Beacon. You know how much your partner disapproved, but you couldn't stop yourself. It made everything hurt a little less.

You were still best friends. That would never change. You would never forgive yourself if she was just another girl to you. She kept confiding in you and you did so happily.

But that didn't make it any less painful.

You kept silent. You heard every grumble, every daydream and every private thought from your partner. You didn't blame her. You couldn't choose who you fell in love with.

She fell for him, and you, you fell for her.

You just wished it was you.

You remember when you started coming up with reasons why. You were still young so you didn't really get it then. For a long while you blamed the most immediate thing.

It was your semblance. You weren't someone that could safely be loved. You only brought bad luck. Bad tidings. You felt some twisted comfort in that, that maybe, if it wasn't for that bad luck charm she'd look at you that way.

It wasn't long until you all graduated. She gave you the biggest hug you'd ever received. It was the happiest you've been in a long time.

Your happiness was short lived though.

You found out the reality about your world. Your headmasters secret war. Magic. Maidens. You were apprehensive at first and your sister was even worse.

But one look from your partner put away those doubts. She was your leader. Your friend. The woman you loved, even if she didn't love you back that way. You'd follow her. So you agreed to follow Ozpin.

* * *

You remember your first mission as a huntsman. You and your partner were split up from your sister and Taiyang by Ozpin. You had some cover reason yes, but you were really looking for the next potential Fall Maiden. A girl to succeed the current one.

You found her first, your partner agreed. She was young, very young and her name was Amber.

It was a successful mission, but you felt terrible about forcing a young girl into such a monumental position.

You drank hard that night. You'll never forget the look on her face when she had to pick you up from that bar after you were tossed out. You were covered in dirty, muddy clothes and your own vomit on your pants.

You felt more miserable than ever when she had to let you stay at her place. You don't know what you rambled in your drunkenness, but you can take a pretty good guess, with how you and your partner were after that. You were still friends sure, but something was different.

You hated when she looked at you like you were fragile. Like you were one step away from the edge. She had you move into her apartment and while you fantasied about this day before, It wasn't like this. Never like this.

You hated knowing she was right.

You stopped blaming your Semblance after that.

It wasn't your bad luck. She'd put up with it more than anyone should have to during Beacon. If she felt the same way as you then she'd have put up with it as a couple too.

It wasn't your semblance.

It was you.

You knew exactly what that meant. Your alcoholism. Your weakness. Your recklessness. You were rash. You were simply not what she wanted. You promised to go sober two times before, and now was your third. You were unreliable.

You didn't blame Taiyang. You didn't blame your partner for falling in love with him over you. He was everything you were not.

You only blamed yourself.

And you hated you.

* * *

Knowing about magic and being magic were two different things for you.

Your sister took it far worse than you, even though you both agreed to it. Your partner thought it was hilarious that you were a crow and she was a Raven.

Things felt like they used to be then. You even found it fun. Being something different. Having a power that wasn't bad luck. You loved seeing your partner's childlike expression whenever she asked you to transform again and fly around, and sit on her shoulder.

You cherished those moments, regardless of how strange they were. You were a crow in her arms or her shoulders.

But that crow was still you.

And you hated you.

* * *

You remember your sisters wedding. You felt the greatest of pride being your friends best man. But you knew how much your partner was hurting. Even though you didn't blame her, you just wanted to scream. _Me! Why not me? _

It felt like the night of the dance all over again, when you comforted her.

You loved your niece. Your little fire starter. Yang was the spitting image of her father, but had just enough of your sister to know it was her daughter.

Of course, you never expected your sister to break your team apart as well as your friends marriage. You and your partner had to pick up the pieces your sister left.

* * *

You hadn't cried this much before. You hadn't drunk this much before. You weren't mad at her or him. She was her own person. So was he. He had no right to her and never presumed he did. He wasn't that kind of man.

But that didn't make it hurt less.

Your streak of sobriety ended the night of Taiyang and Summer Rose married. She asked you, if she should try.

You told her to do it, if that would make her happy. That was all you cared about, wasn't it.

You made sure someone managed to get you back to your shared apartment before Summer got home. She never did. She spent the night at Tai's place. She was going to have his second child, wasn't she?

She didn't need to be worrying about you.

Nobody did.

You can't really remember what she said when she found you, but you remember that look. That look in her eyes.

* * *

You loved Ruby with all your heart, just as much as Yang. You were both their uncles and it made you happy. You still loved her, sure, but you always looked out for those little brats no matter what.

You did most of the work for Ozpin now. When your partner came back from her maternal break, she had to split her time as a huntress and as a mother. She always had that fire in her, to protect others.

Something you always admired about her.

Maybe things could get better. That's what your therapist kept saying. That's what your partner keeps saying. You're considering giving sobriety a fourth shot. Even Major Ironwood thinks you can do it, and he's the biggest stick in the mud you know.

* * *

You blamed yourself.

You sat in the filed out bar and blamed yourself as another glass came your way.

It wasn't supposed to be difficult. Rather easy, in fact. A simple mission for Oz.

You always knew that her silver eyes meant she was in danger. That the enemy wanted her dead. You just never imagined it would actually happen. Your partner was the rock that kept you all in the fight no matter how bleak it seemed.

So when you had to break the news to your remaining teammate about what happened, and when you had to see the look on your nieces face's when they were told their mother wasn't coming home, you nearly sank.

And you never knew why it happened.

You knew it was your fault, but in what way?

Was it your Semblance finally affecting her in battle as you feared?

Or was it _just you? _

You might have not been alert. Just a little too much liquor in your system. Just a little too slow.

You don't know which one is worse.

* * *

You always hated taking one of Ironwood's specialists under your wing. Especially fresh ones.

You had to give her a nickname first, like all the others, and her proper, prim and soldier-like attitude led to Ice Queen. You had no idea how much it applied to Winter Schnee at the time, but you learned later.

As one mission to turned to several and you found yourself working with her regularly, you did admit she was damn good at her job. Though you weren't really friends, you respected her.

And to you, she was what your sister could have been. Noble. Honorable. Courageous. Winter sometimes did act like your sister, but she was so much more.

You were glad Jimmy had some good soldiers for once.

* * *

You saw too much of your partner in Ruby. Too much of your sister in Yang.

You didn't say anything when they whizzed through Signal, nor when Ruby got into Beacon early.

You trusted Ozpin and Tai that she'd be fine. You would sigh and follow their lead as you always did.

You came to regret it when Beacon fell. You hated having to pressure yet another teenage girl into choosing to become a Maiden. You didn't even know if she'd exist anymore after the procedure was done. You knew that the champion should be down there, confessing her obvious feelings for that blond idiot below.

You finally realized then that your sister wasn't all that wrong for turning on Ozpin. But you had committed by then. There was no backing out, not when you knew the stakes were too high.

You just didn't expect to be carrying your nieces comatose body back to Patch. You didn't expect that teenager to be reduced to an ash pile and a bronze circlet. You didn't expect to hear the moans and wails of a broken blond knight.

You didn't expect to see your little fire dragon with a mangled, missing arm.

You didn't expect.

But all you saw was your partner's body in all of them.

And you blamed yourself.

* * *

You weren't really expecting the poison to be that bad. You slump to the ground and grab that blond knights hand, the one that's too much like you.

You have no idea how the battle is going, but you know that you can see your partner. You half hope that you don't make it.

You want to be with her. You know it's selfish to give up the fight. But gods, you want to see her again.

You're barely conscious when they take you to Mistral. You only remember seeing her. She wasn't mad a you. And she didn't blame you. You don't remember much of what she said, but you do know that when you wake up and see Ruby looking so relived that you're alive, you think you understand what she meant.

* * *

You never expected something like this from Raven. It was low, even for her.

You felt like giving up. It was two Maidens against none. But when you saw Ruby fight her hardest, even when the blond knight was standing over a dying Ice Queen, saving her, you were motivated to fight to your last breath if need be. Not just for your partner, but for your niece. For Ruby. For humanity. Things only got tougher. At the Farm. Against Cordovin and the Leviathan. Too many times you saw your partner in Ruby. When she went down the barrel. When she petrified the Grimm. You're relived she's alive.

You get what your partner told you back when you were poisoned. It took you a while, but you get it now.

You stare down the flask in that airship. Maria is siting by you, a legend in her own right. You look back to the kids, to Ruby.

You put the flask down.

You take a deep breath, and you say thank you.

You stare out into the skies, ready, for whatever may come in Atlas.

* * *

**A/N: So this was a muse that ran away from me. Let me know you think in the reviews. I'm a sucker for unrequited Qrow x Summer. **

**Skipping Through Beacon chapter 11 is taking longer to write than anticipated. I haven't even started yet because I'm still planning things out. **

**Kanye's new album is killer good. My 'Boys play the Giants this coming Monday. **

**See ya next time! **


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